Getting By and Getting Better.

03:54Mia Durano



When it comes to being yourself, when it comes to being in the world, the minute you showed up, the minute you “lived”, you were given a life sentence. Now, you don’t know how long you got. Maybe you get 80 years and I got 62. We’ve no idea how long we have. Although, where you’re born, when you’re born, to whom you’re born, all these things have a certain influence, or impact on how you become who you become. So if you’re born in Switzerland, chances are you’ve got a long time to figure this shit out. If you’re born in Zimbabwe, or some parts of the Philippines, and I’m not kidding, you’ve got significantly less time.

So what I want you to think about is not what your life expectancy is, but what do you expect from life? And what does life expect from you? Those are more interesting questions. And the two places in life where you are awesome at being yourself, you’re fantastic at being yourself, one of them is when you’re a kid.

When you’re a kid, you’re fantastic at being yourself because you don’t know how to disguise your differentness.

but do we really have to? do we have really have to be so conforming? Many pieces have been written on uniqueness and how us millennials have been trained to think were unique and special and how one day we will conquer the world and slay. 

Some days we wake up and feel like you’re king of the world, it’s not even like you’ve got a reason. It’s like free-floating joy in your body just looking for a target, and you know how it feels on those days because — . You just think, “Somebody give me an audience; I’m on fire! Quick, this selfie is LIT and it’s gotta go online! I HAVE GOT IT” And your hair’s on point- brows are on fleek, and everything just works, everything works on those days. But the other days nothing works. Your legs don’t work, your mouth doesn’t work. No one’s liking your posts and you don’t even feel like social media is where you wanna be. You — the word thief comes and steals your entire vocabulary. Sometimes its like that, we have our good days and we have bad days.

Now your entire life, I don’t care who you are, I don’t care how old you are, your entire life, from birth up until now has been about building a stable relationship with that. With the knowledge that it does not always go our way, that even if we try our hardest, it just won’t. and that on some days we don’t even have to try and it magically works. You need a certain sense of self importance  to live in a world of notifcations, buzzing phones and selfies. . If you didn’t have that- you’d be toast. But your challenge is to keep that importance- that confidence from its dominant position- for becoming too much and pull it back so that it’s in service to yourself. 


That’s when it becomes useful, and in order to do that you’ve got to find the still point right in the middle of those two extremes. So that’s what I would call the balance and it’s the kind of state of mind that cannot be affected in any way by anything that happens outside you. This kind of confidence that comes from there is like the sunshine . All right, and now it’s dark outside, but you know that somewhere, there is a valley with direct sunlight- UNBROKEN by the clouds. free from barriers. That even on the darkest of days, the light shines elsewhere. 


So when you look around you and the light makes everything glow and it’s absolutely gorgeous, and tomorrow the day is cloudy, dark and parallel to the night.  The light does not disappear- nor does the sun apologize for being “absent”  No, the sun just is, because the sun sees the impermanence of the clouds, and the impermanence of the rainbows, and you have to develop an inner state of mind that’s as impervious to all the good shit and bad shit that happens to you as the sun is to a cloud in it way.



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